BEDA Day 5: A lame excuse for a blog post

Hey, I’ve had a really busy day, so this post isn’t going to be long. To keep with my theme, I’ve decided to list a few things I’m not thankful for…

Anxiety. I can’t go a single day without wanting to curl up in a ball and cry at some point for some stupid reason. Like right now, I want to punch a certain SOMEONE square in the jaw. And I cried, not out of sadness but out of pure frustration. Yes, I cried, and I think I might again soon.

School. I know I said I was thankful for it a couple of days ago but the reasons I gave then are overpowered by the fact that there’s days I come home in pain, wanting to cry or even kill myself. Let me say that again, I come home from a place I’m legally required to go wanting to end my own life. The teachers are assholes, the students there are worse (including most of my friends, if you’re reading this I’m not talking about you though) 

Me. I am done with myself. The only reason I haven’t killed myself is for my friends and family. I’m not even living for the sake of living anymore. I’m not even living for my own enjoyment of life. I am only still alive so my friends and family don’t have to suffer. If I didn’t care so much about them, I would be dead. 

That’s all, I promise I’ll be back with less depressing topics in days to come! 


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