BEDA Day 19: The woods

“Didn’t you already post today?” You may ask. And yes, I have. I don’t plan on posting tomorrow, and I needed to get my feelings out as soon as possible.

I want to take a vacation to the woods. I’ll only be gone a day or two, I just need to get away from everything, and everyone. Nobody by my side, nobody to hear my scream. Nobody to tell me what to do, what’s right or wrong. You think I’ll find anything sharp enough to cut out there? I sure hope I do…

The only things around me would be the trees. Maybe I’ll punch a tree a few times, maybe even until my knuckles are bleeding. I might not sleep… Who knows? Nobody’ll be there to tell me that I have to. I’d rather not sleep on a rock anyway. Of course I won’t find any animals, they’ll be scared away. I wouldn’t be starving myself, though. I’ll have food with me. If I’m lucky, it might even rain. 

Sounds great, right? Then why don’t I do it? My friends and family would be worried sick. I’m sure the cops would be involved. I would never do such a thing, not to my mother. I can see it now, she’d be bawling her eyes out, just like I wish I could. But I can’t. It’s like my mind built a wall stopping my tears from escaping my eyes. 

“Aren’t you going a bit too far with this?” You may ask. And yes, I am. Way too far. But I have no other way to let out my feelings. I don’t want to get anyone else involved. I’m sorry if I’m scaring you, I didn’t mean it. I needed to tell you guys this. I can’t hide it anymore.


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