I’m back.

*BEFORE I START* I apologize for this awful, personal content. Usually, I have this on my side blog, but I want everyone to see this. So if you don’t want to see me pour out my heart, this is NOT the post for you and I’ll see you next time!

Yes, hello.

I’m not back in the sense of “back to writing more blog posts”, but back as in “back to the mindset I had months ago”.

I am a terrible person; all I ever do is hurt people.

I forget this, I accidentally say that, I break someone’s heart into millions of pieces and I’m still okay.

What kind of person am I?

Since when am I the one everyone cares about? People would be willing to DIE to make me happy, and quite frankly, that’s absolutely terrifying.

I don’t want people on the edge of suicide because they want to keep me happy. If you’re upset with me, or upset in general, please tell me. I don’t care about how I feel…

All of my posts are the same (on this blog, at least). “Why do people care about a lowlife like me?” seems to be my catch phrase. I wish I had something else to say, but it’s the truth. I don’t matter to me, and I am apparently blind, for I can’t see why anyone cares.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t want to exist as me. I want to exist as someone better- but then again, don’t we all? I want to exist as someone that’s happy. I want to be someone that doesn’t worry about hurting someone, because they don’t care how awful life is, as long as I’m happy.

I hate it when people worry about me. You have more important things to worry about, like you. Please. I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I don’t matter as much as you do.

I love you all…

~Tentative Visionary


One thought on “I’m back.

  1. i accidentally hurt mara really bad a month ago…because i forgot, didn’t think before i said it, my point is, your not a bad person for making mistakes. everyone does it. You think your a lowlife. but in reality your a highlight of many peoples day, your smile the tiny bit of hope you give to us. YOU are very important. we all love you, not because we think of you as something we need to deal with, but a privilege to have in our lives. I’m not going to ask you to not feel that way… but those are the facts. you touch our lives, hearts, and minds by being there for us the way you always are. just food for thought tho.
    Your more than worth it trin, your beautiful because of those things. sometimes those flaws you hate about yourself is one of the many things we love about you.

    Liked by 1 person

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