Respect.

I believe that every human being deserves, at the very least, the most basic level of respect. I look around, and I see a lot of hate and ultimately, dehumanization. What happened to the golden rule- “treat others how you want to be treated”? Where is the respect that I saw and gave as a child? Sure, the world was a bit tinted and I was innocent, but as we grow, we all start to see how dark this world really is. It’s as if once we hit adolescence, society turns the light off- as if we’ll be okay in the dark. What I’m trying to say is, just because we’re older, doesn’t mean we don’t need to show each other respect.

Egalitarianism: The somehow unrealistic notion that all human beings, no matter their skin color, sexuality, gender, origin, age, religion or place in this “social hierarchy” we have in place, are equal. Every human being is a human being, and should be treated like one. Sure, people say and do terrible things and deserve to be hated, but what they deserve more is at the very, VERY least, common decency. Whether we are worthy of praise or hatred, we are all equal. In Mark Fischbach’s words, “We, as YouTubers, are the exact same as you. We’re humans. We’re people, wandering this world, trying to figure out who we are, just the same as you (RESPECT 3:06)”. If that’s the case, what makes anyone more worthy of respect than others? Nothing.

I can’t say it enough- I’m sick of hearing about people being treated like scum. It’s our job as human beings to treat each other with respect. There’s a reason schools are so big on respect and kindness. They’re just as sick of all this violence and hate as I am. There are plenty of things the human race has accomplished by coming together. Why can’t respect be among those things, when that’s what we’ve been learning to use since day 1?

I find it strange that people are put into boxes based on such arbitrary things- such as skin color or religion. It’s happened many times throughout history- people have been discriminated against and dehumanized for the most basic things that we all have the right to have. If someone isn’t free to believe in what they choose, why not? Why can’t they decide what religion they have? Why can’t they be with the people they love? Why is every element of our existence a determining factor as to whether or not we deserve to be treated as a person?

If you think about it, every act of hatred can be boiled down to “you should be treated like trash because you’re not like me”. I’m not saying these things to gain publicity. I’m saying these things because, quite frankly, they need to be said. Because for some reason, in 2017, we still can’t get along. Everyone has the potential to do something great, or devastating. Whether they do either one depends entirely on the people around them. Keep that in mind before you open your mouth.

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Iris

img_6471You can tell a lot more from someone’s eyes than you think.

Some are exciting and bright, others are pale and piercing. Hers in particular, though, give me a sense of comfort…

They feel like home.

I can look into her eyes and never want to leave her gaze. Her bright eyes when she’s in my arms makes me melt.

They’re this warm shade of brown that I’m still mesmerized by- even after almost seven months. The way they glow in the sun, it looks like there’s tiny flecks of gold in her eyes.

Long story short, they’re beautiful. A perfect match for a beautiful girl.

*ALSO: I’m so sorry for my lack of posts. Stress makes me unbelievably lazy. I get nothing done and blame it on how I’m always tired. I’m sorry guys!*

See you guys next time!

~Tentative Visionary

Father

“We, as humans, love putting people into little boxes, and I know it’s cliché, but it’s true.”

Evan Edinger, My Dad Died…

*DISCLAIMER: EVAN EDINGER IS NOT MY DAD. HE IS ON YOUTUBE (YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT HIS CHANNEL.) ALSO MY FATHER IS VERY MUCH ALIVE*

I want to tell you a story.

One day, I was born. Without a father to protect me, just my mother and her “husband”. That didn’t last.

Where was my father?? He left before I was born.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my dad- he gave me LIFE… But he left my mom, to her own devices.

He left, married someone else and had 2 daughters- two of my sisters.

My mom, on the other hand, got divorced from her “husband” and met my “dad”- the one that actually cared for me (and still does).

Thus, she had my sister Aurora. The one I’ve lived with for her whole life. It’s a love-hate relationship. 

Now, my mom has a new husband. 

This is what pains me. I look at my friends, and a lot of them have great, stable families. They have both of their biological parents, maybe a few siblings.

I look at my family tree and I see a picture drawn by a five-year-old. There’s relations every which way that I don’t even know about! Maybe it’s something about my three dads…

But I feel terrible. I’ve always placed my biological dad in this “box” of evil. My mom always tells me about how terrible he is at paying child support… But that’s all I’ve chosen to acknowledge. He’s a great guy, really. I love his sense of music. He’s a FIREFIGHTER. How cool is that? He has an amazing girlfriend, my sisters are fantastic and my grandparents are the type that would bake you a batch of cookies every time you came to visit. I love them all so much… But I can only seem to focus on the fact that my dad left me before he even had a chance to know me.

I always wonder how different my life would be if I lived with my dad. If I would still be the gay little shit that I am that loves cartoons. How much more would I have influenced my sisters? Would I have ever met Aurora?

This has always conflicted me…

See you guys next time!

~Tentative Visionary

 

 

 

 

I’m Home

Everything is dark, yet I can still see.

I look into her eyes. I love her.

I’m lying down with her and playing with her hair.

I’m home.

People are rushing in and out of the room.

Costumes and makeup litter the floor.

I’m holding her in my arms.

I’m home.

We had just got off the buses.

Everyone is rushing inside the hell that is our school.

We lock eye contact.

I’m home.

I’m in my own house.

My headphones are plugged in and I’m listening to my favorite playlist.

She’s not here.

I’m not home.

I’m back.

*BEFORE I START* I apologize for this awful, personal content. Usually, I have this on my side blog, but I want everyone to see this. So if you don’t want to see me pour out my heart, this is NOT the post for you and I’ll see you next time!

Yes, hello.

I’m not back in the sense of “back to writing more blog posts”, but back as in “back to the mindset I had months ago”.

I am a terrible person; all I ever do is hurt people.

I forget this, I accidentally say that, I break someone’s heart into millions of pieces and I’m still okay.

What kind of person am I?

Since when am I the one everyone cares about? People would be willing to DIE to make me happy, and quite frankly, that’s absolutely terrifying.

I don’t want people on the edge of suicide because they want to keep me happy. If you’re upset with me, or upset in general, please tell me. I don’t care about how I feel…

All of my posts are the same (on this blog, at least). “Why do people care about a lowlife like me?” seems to be my catch phrase. I wish I had something else to say, but it’s the truth. I don’t matter to me, and I am apparently blind, for I can’t see why anyone cares.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t want to exist as me. I want to exist as someone better- but then again, don’t we all? I want to exist as someone that’s happy. I want to be someone that doesn’t worry about hurting someone, because they don’t care how awful life is, as long as I’m happy.

I hate it when people worry about me. You have more important things to worry about, like you. Please. I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I don’t matter as much as you do.

I love you all…

~Tentative Visionary